SCOOP is coming this weekend on Pokerstars...

The other day I was practicing a little on my short-handed game and after waiting and waiting through several sets of blinds for a hand that had cards higher than a eight, yeah, I have those days too. Finally I catch big slick in the small blind and someone in middle position makes a small raise. This couldn't be better, the other players fold to me and I reraise all-in. The big blind calls and the original raiser calls, both of whom have me covered. The flop brings two spades one of which pairs my ace and causes both other players to shove their remaining chips into the middle. The player in middle position showed a pair of tens and I breathed a sigh of relief, compounded by the four six of spades the big blind turned over. The turn card was another king, giving me aces up and the beginnings of a warm fuzzy I'm fixing to triple up feeling until the river came a third spade.

As I looked back and tried to figure out how someone calls an all-in with four six suited I had one of those fleeting thoughts where I wished I knew how to play Pot Limit Omaha! Obviously I was going back to the books and see if there was a section that I had missed in my hold'em education that explained the how and why of playing six four suited in the big blind. I will have to fix this hole in my game or else I may have to learn how to play 7 Card Stud or take up bowling or tennis or jenga. Does anyone else lose this much sleep on seemingly simple problems? I hope not. Good luck at the tables and see you at SCOOP!!!!

The SCOOPs are coming, the SCOOPs are coming...

Wanting to play well in the upcoming SCOOP Poker Tournament I have had to make some adjustments to my game. An interesting phenomenon that has come to my attention is that of counterfeiting, an example of which is below:






Now, I am in the big blind and get dealt T6off, no biggie, no one raised so I am priced in to see the flop. I flop middle/bottom pair and bet out, I get one caller so I figure the guy is playing Kxsuited or some lower pair, if he had hit trips he would have raised, if he hit kings up he would have raised, I am 99% sure that I still have the best hand, my 2 pair against his kings. I am OK with the Ace on the board because I already have him on a hand that does not include an Ace and I bet again. However, when the second Ace hits the board on the river I am totally beat, my two pair were just counterfeited by the Aces. Time to fold and regroup.

In looking back on the hand I don't think that I could have won this on any street by changing the way that I bet. No way was I raising pre-flop, I could have shoved post but I am pretty sure that he would have come along on the strength of top pair, he could only reasonably have been beaten by Aces and I would have bet them regardless of position and he knew that.

I am trying to vary the type of tourney that I enter, buy-in, field size, turbo or non, knockout or not, to develop a more easily adaptable playing style while still maintaining enough aggression to move forward in the field. Patience is paying off slowly, isn't that just about right. Positive thoughts and pro-active adjustments are the things I am working towards, let's hope that the work pays off.

See you all on the felt.

Some thoughts on recovery

Almost four months ago I took a step towards a better life. I began to think about things that could be rather than how my life had been or how to keep things the same. The status quo was a sinking ship, doomed from the start to be tossed about by the smallest perceived slight and easily swamped by an honest look in the harsh light of day. I found the rooms of AA out of desperation, I literally could think of nowhere else to go. I sat quietly neither moving or looking around and listened as one by one people came forward and shared their stories. I got no insight, I had no revelation, no divine intervention but I came back again the next night. There was something there, some impression that I got that first night, that brought me back. I do remember stopping to re-read the sign just inside the door, a quotation that said "I am responsible. Whenever anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA to always be there. And for that I am responsible."

The second night I sat and listened and one man came to the podium and began to talk of a plan of action. He said that he had been lonely and that he believed that if all of your friends and all of your family had written you off and all you had was God, then God was enough. He went on to say that in the depths of his own despair he had prayed to God and he got an answer. He said that God didn't give him what he wanted but he got what he needed. He said that you should pray for miracles because you can't get what you don't ask for. I went home that night and in the darkness I knelt and prayed like I hadn't prayed since I was a child, with the earnestness and innocence of one who had nothing else. I prayed for a miracle and the next day God answered my prayer, he gave me hope, the miracle would come later. I carried that hope inside of me to meeting after meeting. I carried that hope with me when I asked that man to be my sponsor and then I received the miracle that I had prayed for, he said yes. I thank God for Bill every day, without him I would still be lost.

One of the recurring ideas in AA is to approach the program of recovery with an open mind, I heard this said over and over and I couldn't quite understand the concept. At rest I cleared my mind of all conscious thought and rewrote the first step in my mind, "I am an alcoholic, and my life had become unmanageable." Focusing on this thought alone I looked at it from all sides, saying it to myself over and over and testing it with different scenarios each time the same, I was convinced or rather, I believed that I was alcoholic and my life was unmanageable. The thought had become a belief as I opened my mind to it, I no longer merely thought that I had a problem, I believed it in my heart and knew it to be an absolute truth. This was the beginning of a profound change in the way that I could approach my everyday life, this simple exercise had empowered me to evolve a way of thinking or rather believing that would propel me forward in all of my endeavors.

The shell that I had placed myself in to protect me from the world was softening. From an early age if something frightened me I cowered inside myself and waited for it to pass. If I felt hurt I would ignore the pain. If I felt threatened I would turn away. To protect myself from hurt feelings I refused to feel anything. I couldn't grow in a vacuum, inside a shell that I had built to protect myself from pain and insecurity and hurt feelings. Once I could open my mind, without fear, I could begin to grow emotionally and learn to deal with life head on. Alcohol that had been used for a crutch, a cloud to hide in, was less and less on my mind. You don't crave what you know that you don't need.